Two behaviors make people more likable. Just be sure to use them at the right time.
The article explores the dual nature of social interactions by highlighting two key behaviors—communal and agentic—that influence how we connect with others. Communal behaviors, characterized by warmth, empathy, and active listening, are essential for creating genuine connections and fostering trust. These behaviors enable individuals to make others feel seen and heard, thereby increasing likeability and building deeper relationships. On the other hand, agentic behaviors, which include assertiveness and confidence, are effective for leading and initiating actions but may not always foster personal connections.
The real skill lies in knowing when to employ each behavior. For instance, asserting oneself is crucial during a presentation, while communal behavior is more suited for establishing a rapport on a first date. The article suggests that mastering the balance between these behaviors can enhance one's ability to navigate social landscapes successfully, ensuring both personal and professional interactions are fruitful. This balanced approach can lead to more meaningful and enduring relationships, a vital component of social well-being.
Constructive analysis
The constructive-journalism lens: not just what happened, but what works.
- The problem
- The challenge of making a positive impression and forming genuine connections in social settings.
- The actions
- Promoting the use of communal behaviors like active listening and empathy in appropriate contexts.
- Evidence of progress
- Research from the Journal of Psychological Science supports that communal behaviors enhance likeability by making others feel valued.
- What we can learn
- Others can learn to balance communal and agentic behaviors depending on the context to improve their interpersonal interactions.
PERMA wellbeing profile of this story
Seligman's five pillars of wellbeing, as expressed in this story.
- Positive Emotion
- 7
- Engagement
- 8
- Relationships
- 9
- Meaning
- 8
- Accomplishment
- 7
Character strengths in play
Top VIA strengths this story embodies.
Curiosity
Those who take the time to engage on a personal level and ask thoughtful follow-up questions demonstrate genuine care and interest.
Kindness
It’s our communal behaviors that help us engage with others—and keep us engaging.
Perspective
By understanding the difference, you can stop guessing how you're coming across and get out of your own head.
Try this today
Next time you're in a social setting, try to focus on active listening. Ask open-ended questions and show genuine interest in the responses. Notice how this impacts your connection with others and reflect on the experience afterward.