Science confirms this viral ‘secret’ praise parenting technique is certifiably genius
In a world rich with parenting advice, Namwila Mulwanda and her partner Zephi's 'gentle parenting' technique offers a refreshingly simple yet profound approach: speak positively about your child within their hearing range. This indirect praise, as shared in their viral Instagram video, has sparked a conversation around how children internalize self-worth. By discussing their daughter Nhyara's achievements in a genuine, overheard manner, they not only boost her confidence but also foster a sense of authentic appreciation. The method resonates deeply with many, as evidenced by the video's popularity and the flood of comments from parents eager to adopt this practice.
The science behind this technique is compelling. Research supports that indirect praise can have a more significant impact than direct compliments, as it feels more sincere and less manipulative. This approach encourages children to develop a robust self-image based on their own efforts and growth rather than on innate traits. It's a technique that emphasizes real accomplishments and genuine acknowledgment, providing a model for other parents seeking to build strong, confident children. As Mulwanda's poignant message suggests, this approach not only nurtures today's children but also offers healing for those who lacked such affirmations in their own childhoods.
Constructive analysis
The constructive-journalism lens: not just what happened, but what works.
- The problem
- The challenge of building children's self-confidence amid conflicting parenting philosophies.
- The actions
- Parents like Mulwanda and Zephi use indirect praise to authentically affirm their children's efforts and character.
- Evidence of progress
- The viral video and scientific backing show that this method effectively boosts children's confidence and self-image.
- What we can learn
- Parents can replicate this approach by intentionally praising their children's efforts in a manner that feels genuine and spontaneous.
PERMA wellbeing profile of this story
Seligman's five pillars of wellbeing, as expressed in this story.
- Positive Emotion
- 9
- Engagement
- 8
- Relationships
- 10
- Meaning
- 8
- Accomplishment
- 7
Character strengths in play
Top VIA strengths this story embodies.
Love
Mulwanda and Zephi speak about their daughter in ways that celebrate her achievements and character, demonstrating deep familial affection.
Gratitude
Mulwanda's approach of speaking positively about her daughter shows a profound appreciation for her child's efforts and qualities.
Hope
The technique and its reception suggest a hopeful vision for parenting that emphasizes kindness and affirmation.
Try this today
Try this technique at home: The next time your child is nearby but not directly engaged with you, speak to another adult about something specific and positive your child has done. Observe their reaction and how it may influence their behavior and self-perception.