Psychologist shares 15-second trick to make kids of any age less rude and more cooperative
Dr. Rebecca Kennedy, known as Dr. Becky, shares a deceptively simple yet profound strategy to improve cooperation and reduce rudeness in children: asking them, 'What could I do better as your parent?' This question, which takes merely 15 seconds to pose, opens a dialogue that not only makes children feel heard and respected but also strengthens the parent-child relationship. Dr. Becky emphasizes that such moments of connection can lead to more cooperative behavior, as kids who feel valued are less likely to act out.
The approach is rooted in authoritative parenting, which combines warmth and open communication with clear expectations. While Dr. Becky's method isn't explicitly backed by a standalone study, it aligns with existing research highlighting the benefits of engaging children in meaningful dialogue. The humorous anecdotes from parents who tried this method underscore the real-world applicability and the light-hearted, yet impactful, nature of this practice. By addressing potential behavioral issues in a calm and proactive manner, parents can foster a more harmonious household.
Constructive analysis
The constructive-journalism lens: not just what happened, but what works.
- The problem
- Parents often struggle with getting their children to listen and cooperate without feeling like a nag.
- The actions
- Dr. Becky suggests a 15-second strategy involving asking children how parents can improve, paired with attentive listening.
- Evidence of progress
- Parents report humorous and insightful responses from their children, indicating engagement and a willingness to participate in the dialogue.
- What we can learn
- Others can replicate this method by actively listening to their children and valuing their input, which enhances mutual respect and cooperation.
PERMA profile of this story
How this story scores across the PERMA dimensions.
- Positive Emotion
- 8
- Engagement
- 7
- Relationships
- 9
- Meaning
- 8
- Accomplishment
- 6
Character strengths in play
Top VIA strengths this story embodies.
Curiosity
Dr. Becky encourages parents to ask their children, 'What could I do better as your parent?' fostering a sense of curiosity about their child's needs and perspectives.
Kindness
The approach is centered around listening and showing respect, as demonstrated by the question itself and the advice to 'just listen' to the child's response.
Perspective
Dr. Becky’s method offers parents a new way to view their role, likening it to a manager seeking feedback to improve their relationship with their team.
Try this today
Try asking someone close to you, 'What could I do better to support you?' Listen without interjecting, and reflect on their feedback. This practice can deepen your understanding and strengthen your relationship.