Drew Barrymore asks doula how to stop ‘monkey gripping’ about death. The answer is so soothing.
In a candid segment on The Drew Barrymore Show, death doula Diane Button addresses the pervasive anxiety about death, a subject often shrouded in silence despite its universality. Drew Barrymore's open admission of her lifelong fear of death—likening it to 'an endless, infinite black room'—sets the stage for Button's soothing guidance. She suggests embracing death as the 'elephant in the room,' proposing that acknowledging and befriending this fear allows us to live more fully in the present. Button's approach is not about eradicating fear but about shrinking its grip by talking openly about it, which can transform the fear into a manageable presence rather than a looming shadow.
Button's practice of guiding individuals through a 'mini life review' offers a poignant tool for reflection. By imagining a final gathering with loved ones, she encourages people to identify the core relationships and experiences that truly matter. This exercise not only highlights the importance of living meaningfully but also underscores the significance of connections, traditions, and personal joys. The segment suggests that by focusing on these elements, we can better appreciate life and prepare for its inevitable end with a sense of peace and acceptance.
Constructive analysis
The constructive-journalism lens: not just what happened, but what works.
- The problem
- The challenge of confronting and coping with the fear of death, which is a common but often avoided topic.
- The actions
- Death doula Diane Button provides practical tools, such as encouraging open discussions about death and conducting 'mini life reviews' to prioritize what matters.
- Evidence of progress
- The positive reception of Button's advice on social media and the relatable stories shared by viewers attest to the effectiveness and resonance of her approach.
- What we can learn
- Others can adopt Button's strategies by openly discussing their fears and reflecting on their lives and relationships, which can help diminish the fear of death and enhance present living.
PERMA profile of this story
How this story scores across the PERMA dimensions.
- Positive Emotion
- 7
- Engagement
- 8
- Relationships
- 9
- Meaning
- 9
- Accomplishment
- 6
Character strengths in play
Top VIA strengths this story embodies.
Courage
Drew Barrymore's open admission of her absolute fear of death and her willingness to confront it publicly on her show demonstrates remarkable courage.
Perspective
Diane Button's advice to 'embrace the elephant' and befriend death shows a profound perspective on how to deal with inevitable life challenges.
Love
The 'mini life review' exercise focuses on gathering loved ones and identifying meaningful relationships, highlighting love as a central theme.
Try this today
Try a 'mini life review' exercise: Imagine a final gathering with your loved ones. Who is there? What music is playing? Reflect on what you would miss most about life. This can help clarify what is truly important to you and foster a deeper appreciation for the present.